I am sorry things are this way but I am broken and we were just starting to get things on track when Anthony was called home by the Lord.   I am not a sells men and I am not comfortable in these shoes right now.  I am unable to provide a celebration of life for Anthony and all of his friends and I feel he deserves it and all of u guys who are friends of Anthony's deserve it but I just don't have the means. I don't have a problem doing the work anyone who knows me knows I am a doer. I get things done when I try for something I more often then not get it done but I am lost  lost for words lost for feelings lost for answers lost for everything I am unsure how to do this I never had to do this before I don't know how to do any of it I grew up in a very unstable and inconsistent home life. My family was broken way before I was an adult I have no role models and no parental figure to follow I have never had to do this before and I am not sure how this all works on top of all the emotions and feelings I am going through I'm pretty sure this is probably one of the worst fundraiser speeches ever made but here I am going in blind and broken.  If any body feels like they have the means to help pitch in to throw Anthony a celebration of life please feel free to donate if he ever helped you out for no reason at all please donate if he ever gave u something just because u needed it please donate if he ever touches your life please donate.  If u ever felt like u could of helped him out but chose not to please donate.  These funds are going to be going towards the cost of his cremation and his celebration of life for all of u out there and in turn to put the soul of one of the best friends a person could ever have to rest and put him in peace where his ashes will be spread out @ one of the worlds 7 wonders. The Aurora Borealis display.  He wanted to be laid to rest there where he promised his mother he would spread her ashes.  Anthony was very intelligent he thought when we died after we lost our bodies our energy could zip anywhere in the world faster then the speed of light. Faster then thought.  I hope he is right and one day we can all find him again he will be gas surfing in the display of the northern lights. Anthony u were my best friend and we had a roller coaster of a relationship and a marriage but that's how we loved each other and no matter what anyone says or thinks.   I will always be ur BEEPS and I love u and I know u loved me. For Always