I started with Lupus at 19.  It turned into a nightmare.  It was attached organs left and right.  Surgery after surgery,  then 12 melanomas, 2 breast cancers, my ex helped with the kids.  As I was lucky to to have them young.  By 42, my stomach was so distended, I looked 9 months pregnant.  I was diagnosed with gastroparesis.  Then i noticed my muscles just shaked.  Then I got a colostomy, had 3 hernias, then a j  tube feeding tube put in.  My body rejected 3, and the dr doing it under IR lacerated my stomach.  Which I realized as I was getting dressed to go home.  I started puking blood, into emergency surgery with sepsis, I was in bad shape.  Took 61 days to gain my first pound.  At this point I was 75lbs.  The scar tissue hurt so bad, they removed it and put me on hospice as I was so nutrient deficient.  They said 4/6 weeks.  I drank protein drinks and tried to eat small meals but never got feeling great.  So the last 4 years off, using savings and getting no help since the judge hasn’t signed my papers .  Like I needed more stress.  I needed help.  I don’t have family.  My kids think I will get another miracle.  This time I sleep 24-32 hrs, don’t eat except ice cream. Falling.  Pulse is 40 and really low bp.  I won’t be getting out they said.  We have talked about fealty with dignity so I don’t just take tome of pain meds to function that just keeps me asleep.  I feel like I’m just existing.  But with ⅓ of stomach illeostomy they would have to do a trail run to put a balloon through stoma to clog small intestine.  The meds are 1475.00 not any discounts.  Then just paying to live, I need cremation funds.  I don’t need a funeral as they’re sad and costly, I os from my moms. I don’t have family to help.  Just a ex that won’t sign papers for me to get state help.  He’s against it all and can’t afford to take anymore time off or even pay for dinner sometimes .  It’s just been so long with no paychecks.  
 

So if anyone could be so kind and help even if it’s a small amount, anything works at this point or I don’t know how i can be cremated.  I would appreciate any help as my kids are still young adults they can’t pay for it.  Nor shoulf it be a thought on their 46 year old mom.  
 

Im stubborn and so embarrassed to help, but I lsuijj judge in stress about it.  Thank god we had funds to get us through the past 4 yrs.  So me asking is huge.  I’m desperate.  Mortified and just want to pass in peace. 

I will forever be grateful.  I can share hospice paperwork etc.  this isnt a scam.  It’s a nightmare really. 
 

thank you if you can help at all.  
 

much love, 

Crystal