Back in May of 2023 I began to have issues breath and ended up in the ER with what I was told was Pneumonia. I wasn't made aware of a mass that was found in my lung or the Boarder line Pulmonary Hypertension. I was told to take medication and if it didn't get better to come back. I took the meds and did feel better, for a few weeks but then I felt sick again, this time I check my chart from the ER and found the note about Pulmonary Hypertension and asked my OBGYN if it was ok? He quickly scheduled an appointment with the pulmonologist. The pulmonologist found cancer at the end of Decemeber and in January my treatment started. I did 33 rounds of radition and was scheduled to start chemo when a CT scan noticed something in my liver. I did 1.5 treatment before the biopsy results came back negative and my Oncologist decided to take me off the chemo and put me on immunotherapy. My next CT scan showed that my liver could not been see well, but the doctors didn't reschedule the test. Instead continued immunotherapy for another 4 month. I left better, I believed what the doctors said that my cancer was melting away. I had no idea what was about to wreck my life worse than the past 6 month. The words terminal, excuse me? What are you saying? I can continue chemo or stop? But want stopping treatment kill me? The doctor just stared at me for a moment. My husband started to cry, and it hit me? I'm going to die either way he said. My only option was if I did it laying in bed not able to move or see anyone or do anything or I could stop treatment and live until it took over my body and I passed away. This was August 2nd I found out that the 1st biopsy was not done correctly and only 1 sample was taken, the radiologist said she wasn't confident that she even got the sample from the right spot. 

My oncologist says the biopsy did not make a difference but it did, he took me off chemo based on the belief I had Stage 3 lung cancer not Stage 4. I know he believed he was right but my life was put on the line and lost because he did not read her notes did not care that the next CT scan couldn't see my liver. Within 4 months my cancer has grown from less than a cm,  To 5.3 cm. I stopped treatment in June because he wanted to wait for the second biopsy results and I called for a second opinion. I was scheduled to start chemo at the beginning of this month but refused to start treatment 3 hours away in Atlanta at City of hope. 

They have better news for me but I still have not started treatment and they are waiting on my insurance to Approve a PET Scan to see if the cancer has spread or grown. If it has not they will be able to do surgery and cut the cancer out. If it has spread she will have to determine a treatment plan based off of those results. 

I now have travel expenses to worry about along with monthly bills that are not going to be paid and I can't work due to the chemo. I'm a server and the risk of infection is too great. So now I sit in limbo, not sure what to do each day is precious and another hour till I am gone. I don't know if I should give all my things away which are not that much or hold on and leave a mess when I am gone. I'm not sure if I should try and do all the things I want to do and my love ones have asked me to do. Do I try and make final memories or not worry because everything will be ok. I'm broke and would love to do things with my family but if I can just not die homeless would be great. The doctor says no stress that's funny as heck. I have nothing but stress each day. If I am dying I would love to just make sure the people I love will be ok. I want to give them the time each wants with me. The beach, six flags, a spa day and one wanted to go on a cruise. I know that's not possible but if I can beat this well that would be the best memory I can give. I need help with my living expenses, money to go back and forth to Atlanta with motel fees. I can live without lights and use candles, I can live without a phone but hope to find a way to keep it. I get SNAPS already. I put the amount I did because I am not sure how long I will need the money for. I would pay my rent for a year, pay my insurance for the year and my car insurance anything I can pay ahead I would pay. Then put the rest in the bank for monthly expenses like motels and gas. If I think I can keep my phone I will try and pay that for a year also. My rent is 1250 a month insurance is 20 health and car insurance is 768 every 6 months. My phone is 50 a month gas round trip to Atlanta is 70 and the motel is 110 a night. My doctor bills I have to pay can wait until I am better.