I am seeking assistance to just get me through a difficult time. I am struggling with my mental health and need to take FMLA. My employer does not offer paid FMLA, and I learned that my short-term disability claim can take a while to get approved, and I have to wait 30 days to receive benefit. I found some short-term assistance for food & utilities. But they do not consider the rest of the bills you may have, a car payment, car insurance, loans, & other expenses you may have. Which adds more stress to my current situation. I am already feeling so much guilt and anxiety. I feel like such a burden to everyone, and I hate that I am asking for help. But if I get behind on these things, I will get myself in a bigger hole that I will not be able to get out of. I am leasing my car, and I am only allowed to defer one payment during the three years. I am up all day and night trying to figure out what to do. I hate myself enough, but I just don’t want my spouse & daughters to have to suffer more. A car is an essential and necessary for me to be able to get around for my appointments and etc. I work quite a ways from where I work so this is important for me. One of the uglies parts of mental health is the debt you create for yourself and the people you love. My spouse has so much on his plate financially and I know he wants to be Superman and save me. But he can barely afford what he is paying. I wish I was not in this situation but I truly need the support of friends, family and community. I have to take the leave from work and there is no other financial options available for me and my family. I have to continue to put in the work to learn to deal with my anxiety, my mood swings, impulsive behaviors & the thoughts of wanting to die. I recently learned my diagnosis after quite some time in my treatment. I believe knowing this can help in focusing on some of the coping mechanisms I need to work through all of this. I hope that someone out there who has been in a similar situation or knows someone who has fought this battle can understand how this is so devastating and how hard this is to ask for help. But I want to get better. I need to try to get the medical help I need and try to do outpatient therapy to get more support. The panic attacks have increased, and the thoughts of “ I don’t want to live” haunt me daily. Living with mental health issues and keep avoiding them is only making it worse. I feel like I am in this long term war inside my mind that I can’t control and I don’t know the outcome or when it will end. I am desperate for help. Even if you can’t help financially, I hope that you consider praying for me and my family. The total I actually need is $3864.00 but if I can just pay my weekly expenses for 6 weeks until the short term disability kicks in. Thank you for your time and support. - Virginia