Jay + Erik Journey Update: Men Having Babies NYC Conference | Applying for Financial Assistance | Community Support

Sep 08, 2024

Hey Everyone!

We’re preparing to go to the Men Having Babies New York City Conference so I'm taking another second to share our journey update while we tell you a little bit about this conference. We’re excited and nervous for this Conference, there are going to be other soon-to-be Surrodads at this conference, along with other Gay dads, and of course all the Surrogacy Journey providers. There is a whole SLEW of items at this thing and its honestly a lot to take in, at the same time there are “topics” that I know we’ve researched and looked into already that might end up being redundant.

Here is what that schedule looks like:https://menhavingbabies.org/surrogacy-seminars/ny/program/

Ok but the most exciting part about this though? The bookfair LOL! Ok yes, meeting other Intended parents, getting their perspective, and gathering that information, maybe make some new life long friends and penpals - great. BUT the resources we lack the most? Content for our kiddo when they start asking all the questions. The feeling of belonging and self identity that comes with growing up. Those things are the hardest to teach and to instill, it almost has to be something they grow into.

Of course this means we have to go to this section:
6:15 PM - 7:30 PM: Perspectives and Personal Stories Panel: psychosocial aspects of the journey from multiple viewpoints

There are already gay dads and surrogates who have gone through this, getting their perspective would be so valuable. I’m hoping to ask about their kid’s perspectives and how they manage.

The reason why we’re going into this conference is to check that box - a requirement to apply for the Gay Parenting Assistance Program Stage II Financial Assistance. AND it's not guaranteed since we’ll be competing against all the other Dad-Wannabes from ALL OVER THE WORLD. Those odds are SLIM. So having community support is important and having seen how many people want to support us has been SO amazing. So here’s a little extra that I’m asking from you all that I will be cataloging:

Part of the application is asking for a personal letter, it's an optional piece but IS IT REALLY OPTIONAL?! I think not lol… Its supposed to be anonymous so it can't be a letter that immediately identifies the applicant(s). What we would love is a message from our community, not addressed to the organization, but addressed to the future kiddo. It can be anything!

Ok when I say anything, I mean anything NICE that I can share publicly. It can be words of advice as they grow up, it can be reminders of how much they will be loved, it can be dreams for their future, it can be parenting directives to remember to eat their vegetables. THINGS you would say to a kid who’s going to be looking to find their place in this crazy world. Eventually, they will be old enough to read and get these letters/comments.

I’ll be sharing this post as an update email to all my previous donors and as social media posts so if you feel inclined to donate again, even at the expense of a cup of coffee,, leave your words of wisdom in the comments. If you’re responding via social media, leave it in the comments, or send me a DM and I’ll catalog it.

Then… actually writing the letter and incorporating all your well wishes. We hope this works.

Forever grateful - 爸爸(Baba) Jay and Daddy Erik

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