Life has become unmanageable again. Multiple repairs needed for carberry the Honda. This is my lifeline vehicle. It is my main form of transportation to my many medical appointments throughout the month. From primary care to specialists and therapy my entire existence depends on having a working vehicle. She's old. Almost 300k miles but her engine is strong. I drove over a screw and the tire shop said that the tire is beyond repair. Even tho there is a screw in the tire I have been bravely driving to my appointments praying that the screw doesn't dislodge and cause a blow out. Last week I noticed that the cooling fans were no longer kicking on and that the engine temp was warmer than usual. Likely cause is the fan motor. A repair that I can do myself ( thanks dad 💜) I also keep getting a code on the reader that I need to adjust the timing after numerous repairs to fix this it has been determined that I need a new variable valve timing solenoid. A very spendy repair the part isn't so bad. 

My chronic illness really prevents me from holding a traditional job and my duties as a mother of a high needs child makes it that much more unattainable. I have been denied disability benefits twice now and am currently hoping that 3rd time is a charm with this most recent application. With a whole new novel of documentation and evidence. 

As an adult asking for this level of support makes me physically sick all the way down to my spirit. It definitely increases the intrusive thoughts of not being enough. I didn't ask for this struggle I didn't necessarily create it either. At least not on my own. In reality this will barely scratch the surface of my needs but it would help set me on the right path to create an income stream of some sort by allowing me to invest more energy into my crafting and creating. 

Here's a breakdown of the monetary needs  

tires-4 used from pick n pull 132+tax

Car parts -$150+tax

Car tabs- $157.25

Medicinal needs $140

Groceries-$200

Gas-$50

W/S/G-$138.16

Labor for car repairs (vvt solenoid) ~$500ish cheaper if I can find a home mechanic. 

Any help would be appreciated as the holidays are coming this would help offset the cost for gifts for my daughter.