My name is Rachel and I am a 35 year old single mom raising my two children ages  4 and 5 by myself and dealing with a health condition and mental health issues that I just need to ask for help and put myself out there for once.   Life is hard and as a person who has asked for help many times before struggling to make ends meet I never was able to repay my loans and didn't make the best of choices either.  I let people down and I cannot afford to pay anything right now with what I make from my job.   Now that I have learned from the past and finally have what it takes to be more successful and budget/ live within means / take time with decisions , .   I am faced with a few things making it very hard to do so.  Severe depression and rheumatoid arthritis which has been active for 3 years now but made my life so hard since February of this year.   I receive counseling and psych and see RA specialists and am trying to get myself healthy again but it's hard to not want to give up and feel more depressed when your body starts shutting down and I can't walk most days or use my arm or shoulder or hand.  My 1-2 day flare ups turned into 2-3 months.  At least for my shoulder and ankle. My MRIS showed bursitis and synovitis in those joints also caused by this conditon and an inflammation in my eye as well related to autoimmune disorders.  I have been workin  10 hours a week just to get by with an easy job with my neighbor and was in social work field before. I've always worked hard.  I did what I could to give my kids the  best life.  I cant do it anymore. Not anything very physical and need my mind and body to heal.  I applied for temporary disability so I can work with doctors and continue to work on feeling back to my old self again before I can work again physically and mentally.  I feel so worthless but I have to keep reminding myself that if I don't do this I will never get better and only get worse.   A lot of people ,especially other moms struggle.   I get that. I use resources and have learned to live with the most basic of things and be happy.   We need a 3 bedroom place , a new car , and have some bills that need paid off that will allow me to focus on what I need to before i get an answer on my disability  claim to navigate my next steps.  

   I have resources to use for some stuff but my current debts due to the last few months are making it hard to do anything let alone keep pushing.  My parents are struggling. I owe them hundreds. I plan on paying them little too if this works out. I wish I could do more. But this little but can make a huge difference in my life for the long term.  I Will be able to face whatever happens and overcome it from there. 

This is embarrassing..it's hard.  I don't like people knowing my business or judging me or my situation.  I Just can't do this anymore and I need a boost so I can get out of my parents house and back into my own and give my kids what they deserve.  They are everything in this world to me. I will not let this illness cripple me before I am 40 and destroy my hope to fight like I always do.   Money is something that makes everything difficult and I hope someone will understand and help me get through this in this aspect of my life.  Its really hard to put this in words and I hope it makes sense.  

Please help me get on my feet again.  I appreciate anything at all.  Prayers too if it applies to your beliefs.  I pray every day for God to guide me and trust that he will provide me with answers and some help getting what we need to start over while i continue to grow and take care of my children. When I am able to get back to work if I get more stable I am planning on doing so. I am a worker and  always have been. Helping others. I just hope I make it to that point first and can help myself for once and I my debts and situation is just impossible to do for me without feeling so much worse and I scared I might just give in one day and it's not who I am.  

Pleased help me fight this and get us on our feet again just in time for my son to start kindergarten 🙂 I promise to give back to others too when I can.  It's important to spread the love and support other'  in this world.