We always knew we wanted to grow our family, but like so many, we never knew when the time would be just ”right“. This year, we finally decided that we were as ready as we were going to be to become a family of four and found out that our newest arrival would be coming in January of 2026. We were over the moon and so excited to see our son step into his new role as a big brother. Due to my complications with the surrogate baby I carried in 2023, I was seeing a high risk Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist alongside my homebirth midwife to ensure we were keeping a close eye on things. Although all seemed well at my 14 week visit, things changed rapidly the next time we scanned. 
 

At 17 weeks and 4 days along, we discovered my cervix has shortened very rapidly and I was in need of urgent surgery for a rescue cerclage. This is a procedure that sutures the cervix closed in an attempt to prolong pregnancy as long as possible. My midwife worked diligently to find my an OB that could see me as soon as possible to perform the procedure.

Three days later, after a very long weekend filled with anxiety, I went in for my consult with the new OB. They required a new scan of my cervix for confirmation of length, and that was when everything changed. The technician scanning me very bluntly informed me that I had no measurable cervical length and that it appeared as if I was dilating. With next to zero emotion, she told me there was nothing the doctor would be able to do for me. 
 

I was sat in an exam room to wait for the doctor to come in. I had gone in alone since we were assuming I was just establishing care with this provider, not receiving the most devastating news possible. He came in and with the bedside manner of a wraith, told me that there was nothing he could to do help me. He instructed me to go home and inform my family that we were to prepare for a second trimester miscarriage and start wrapping our heads around the imminent loss. He told me I could pray on it, but that my pregnancy making it to viability would be a miracle and not to hope for one. 
 

I sat and shook, silently cried, and then I was being escorted out of the office. The next thing I knew I was calling my husband to go get our son from school and come home as soon as possible. I wasn’t able to articulate much. I reached out to my midwife and told her what the doctor had told me. She was equally shocked and devastated. How did I lose almost 14mm of length in just a matter of days?

My husband and son got home not too long after I did and I had to tell them that we were no longer celebrating a very wanted baby, but that we needed to start saying goodbye to this little one I was carrying inside me. To say that this shattered us would be a terrible understatement. My sweet little boy understood as best as he could and talked to his unborn sibling, repeating that he wanted them to be okay and to live. The searing helplessness and pain that painted my husbands face with tears is something I will never forget.

I was put on immediate, strict bed rest at 18 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I paid hundreds of dollars out of pocket for vaginal progesterone that my insurance wouldn’t cover. For days, I laid in bed and began to grieve the life I was still carrying. Knowing that if labor started and it was time for them to come, there was nothing that could be done. Every cough, sneeze, and gentle movement terrifying me that it would cause my water to break. We were still six weeks away from viability, so death was the only path. 
 

On Wednesday evening, my midwife reached out to me (she’d been in touch every day) and asked if I’d be willing to go in for a second opinion. At first, I thought there was no point, right? Why go in just to have them tell me again that loss was lingering in the near future? But her gentle and loving approach helped me understand that it was indeed worth going back into see a specialist, because what if? What if the second scan was wrong? So I agreed and because of the incredible midwife I have on my team, I was given emergent appointments to my MFM and a new OB for the very next morning. 
 

Thursday morning, hand in hand, my husband and I went into the exam room and the kindest ultra technician came into the room. She’d been the last one to scan me in that office and was so hopeful that we’d see something the other technician hadn’t. And so, we looked. And as we held our breaths, she smiled and looked my in my eyes to tell me it was short, but there was about 8.6 to 10mm of cervical length present. She measured the funneling and got several more pictures of my cervix, then my MFM came in to talk. She was hopeful that the OB downstairs could help us, but we knew I’d need a cervical exam to ensure I wasn’t dilating  and that my cervix wasn’t too soft. I got dressed, and we got in the elevator to see the next doctor. 
 

What felt like an eternity later, I was meeting the new OB who was so graciously taking me into her care. While kind and gentle, she was also straightforward and honest - no sugarcoating to be had. She performed the cervical exam and confirmed no dilation and only some softening, but not too much. We discussed at length the risks of surgery. We knew there were extremely limited options and that getting into the OR meant a whole new list of potential complications. We also knew that the rescue cerclage was the only chance we had at potentially reaching viability. And so, we walked across the parking lot, went into OB triage, and checked in for an emergency surgery to be performed the next morning. 
 

I stayed that night in the hospital in Trendelenburg, meaning the bed was slightly tilted so that I was inverted when my head down and bottom up to encourage my amniotic membranes to move away from my cervix as much as possible. It was super uncomfortable, but I was more than happy to do it. That night was one of the longest nights of my life. Just waiting. Hoping. Wondering. 
 

The next morning, my husband brought our son to come wish me luck and love on me before school. My car had recently been stolen and then recovered, so while I was going in for surgery, Trevor went to pick up my car from the shop and returned to the hospital. 
 

I had a cerclage placed with the surrogate baby I carried, so I knew what to expect. I was prepped, a spinal block was administered to numb me from the waist down, and I was again inverted on the surgical table. There’s absolutely no modesty possible during a procedure like this and it’s highly uncomfortable to go through, but again, it was necessary and something I was more than willing to do if it meant saving my baby. 
 

My doctor was happy with how my cervix looked and felt during the surgery and was confident that the cerclage was well placed. I felt like I could take a breath for the first time in days. Not a full one, but I could breathe. I stayed in the hospital overnight to ensure my membranes hadn't accidentally been ruptured and that I didn’t start having contractions. All stayed quiet and the next morning, I was sent home to continue bed rest for as long as possible. 
 

Weeks have since come and gone. Ultrasounds have shown that my cervix and cerclage have remained stable and our sweet baby is growing perfectly. We reached viability at 24 weeks - a milestone that felt impossible to achieve. Each week since has been such a massive success and we are now sitting at 29 weeks and 1 day pregnant. What we were told was an imminent loss of our baby has now turned into a third trimester pregnancy with the possibility of our dream home birth on the horizon. 
 

Which leads me to now. With so much unknown and homebirth not being an option until I get to 36 weeks along, the preparation for that was paused. My midwife has continued to be a crucial part of my care team and has never once stopped supporting me mentally and emotionally in addition to my prenatal care. Where we find ourselves now is still in a position of unknown, but the need for planning. Should something change and I go into labor before 36 weeks, our baby must be born in a hospital. However, if we make it another seven weeks from now, our homebirth is the plan. Our baby is strong and healthy, it’s just my cervix that has caused so much plight. If she can hold on a bit longer, we can achieve our dream experience of having this beautiful new part of our family be welcomed into the world at home. 
 

Since I’ve been on bed rest for the last 11 weeks, I haven’t been able to work. Financially, things are tight, but we are making it by. The purpose of this fundraiser is to help us continue making payments to our midwife to prepare for our home birth and the necessities we need to make it all a reality. 
 

I would not have made it this far without the unconditional love and support I have received from friend and family. I am so grateful for every person who has met with understanding and compassion through my need to isolate and be a hermit through this time. If all you can offer are words of encouragement and support, I will graciously accept that with open arms. If you are able to donate anything monetarily to our birth, my gratitude is equally endless. 
 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We are still working through the emotions of grieving, to celebrating. The mental toll this has taken on our family is indescribable, but we are also so incredibly thankful to find ourselves now shifting into a time of joy and anticipation.