not really sure where or how to start. I’m embarrassed to even have to do this, and I feel like such a failure to my girls. I have 3 girls, ages 7,11,14. They have been through more trauma in their life then most grown adults and I ‘m such a failure as their mother because no matter how hard I tried I wasn’t able to protect them. Let me explain…

I was married to their father until recently when he attempted to end our lives and is now spending the rest of his in prison. A lot of people asked why didn’t I leave? He isolated us from everyone and always told me if I tried to leave him he would kill me and take my daughters “off the grid.” And I know he would have. He was an extremely bad alcoholic. My babies suffered so much mental and physical abuse, and when he attempted to kill us, it also came out he was molesting  my two older ones and threatened to kill me if they ever told. We were scared to even talk with him around because if he took something we said the wrong way it would be a very bad day for us. I wasn’t allowed to have a job, money, and if we ever went anywhere I had to stare at the ground and not make eye contact with anyone or I would “be punished” when we got home. I was hospitalized 2 times from his punishments and my daughters had to watch it all and they would scream and cry and beg for him to please stop and that would make him turn on them. We lived way out in the country and our nearest neighbor was 6 miles away, so no one could ever hear our cries for help.
on the night he was he was choking me and trying to kill me my oldest daughter was brave enough to grab his phone (we weren’t allowed to have one) and called 911 and saved my life. He was arrested and after everything was said and done in courts last month he was sentenced to 26 years. That was basically a slap on the wrist in my opinion.
My babies have been so emotionally damaged and is in counseling. My oldest has begun cutting on herself and both are extremely scared to leave my side at all. With my own emotional damage and not being able to leave them by themselves has made it impossible for me to find a job. I door dash as much as I can everyday so that I can make at least 20-30 bucks for us to eat everyday. They are bullied in school really bad because of this and the fact that they have to wear old clothes that are small or torn up because I can’t buy them anything new that actually fit. I am facing foreclosure soon and we have nowhere to go because I have to have first/last months rent and a 1200 security deposit. We live in a very small rural area that has no funds or resources to help. We all have medication our psychiatrist has given us and I can’t even purchase that. I just need someone to help me get a good start and I’ll be able to start a good life for us and I’ll be able to save my babies before  it completely ruins the rest of their lives. They are such amazing girls and they are so strong willed. They have so many hopes and dreams I can’t help them achieve right now because I’m lucky if we get to eat everyday. My vehicle has a broken ball joint and until I can fix that, I can’t even try to DoorDash. I’m going into such a deep depression because I failed the 2 most beautiful, amazing angels you could ever meet. We all sleep in my bed together because of night terrors. We were victims of a very sick man and now we have to be homeless and hungry and my daughters need their medications and can’t get any.
they are still victims everyday having to go to school and get bullied and teased. I need food, clothes, first/last months rent ($1,350) plus $1200security deposit. We won’t have any dishes or furniture, no hygienes, and no way to fix car. Im praying everyday that someone will finally help us and let us start living a safe, happy,  peaceful life. Please help me save my babies.
my PayPal is @tcoomer76

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