I have been asked multiple times by several different people to make this fundraiser and my answer has been the same each time: I appreciate the concern and wish to help me, but I know my consistent struggles and need lately have drained on my social goodwill. There is only so much vulnerability you can share and so much anguish people can express sympathy for before it becomes too much and they tune out. I have spent my entire life struggling, I know how this works. I fear for my children's future in this extreme uncertain financial time.  

I told those kind people asking to help me that I wouldn’t create GoFundMe fundraiser until I felt all other options to save myself had been exhausted and I had no other way to address my hardships. 

Well, the day is here.

I’m usually much better at getting my stories across, either in fiction or in real life, but I’ve reached my utmost breaking point. After three full years of struggling post pandemic, it finally happened, I lost my house. I lived in this home for thirteen years. Raised four children alone there, nieces and nephews spending the night, ALL the friends of each of my kids finding safety and peace within my walls and not to mention birthdays and holidays where if you didnt have somewhere to go you had a place there. As if it wasn't enough that I was grieving multiple people I have lost in the last two years, I am now grieving a place I called home. A place that when I moved in had holes in the floor, the bathtub sinking into the flooring, roof leaks and at the least in great need of fresh paint. I spent days, weeks, months and years improving my home to make it the place everyone always felt comfortable. Tears are leaving my eyes as I write this realizing that I am terrified I will never have that again. 

I fought to keep my home, calling and meeting with different county organizations that help “prevent” homelessness. My income tax to cover all that was owed was within two days of my reach and yet the landlord would not budge. He claims that he had to enforce the lease for others were paying attention. Well, in my opinion those things should not be for all to know. As preventing homelessness was not successful I am currently on the other side of the equation. I am now contacting the same agencies and organizations to help with being homeless. I am not getting anywhere fast. It is currently 104 heat index in central PA and I am experiencing it from the moment i open my eyes in the morning. Although, I never thought I would be in this position I am grateful I am able to see things from this point of view. Once I am able to focus on more then just my current situation I plan on making it easier for others to get to the necessary information they need to get the appropriate help they deserve in the most timely matter. Time is dangerous in situations like this, I can see how people give up due to the extensive wait. 

My dream every waking moment of every day for months now has been to gain back my life. Becoming mobile would be the ultimate first step to getting my life back. This opens opportunity to have shelter, make more money and feel independent. This is what i hope to get through this fundraiser. This could be the first step to being secure in waking up in the same bed, the same room, with my kids and our things. .I am unsure is i will ever be able to shake the trauma of sleeping in parking lots or the stress of finding a safe place to sleep and not knowing when my next meal would be. Or the absent amount of money to stay in the worse motels in the area. Weekly rates are over $400! We don't see it at the time but that is $1600 a month. Take a minute to look at apartments or houses for rent for $1600 per month. This is a struggle and merely impossible to even eat after you have paid for the room. I am aware that it does include everything, simply trying to put things in perspective. This is why saving for a vehicle is impossible, this is why my storage unit is behind and threatened the lost of everything I own. I can't even get to my items inside to sell them to gain access to more financial freedom. It is a vicious cycle that is enough to make a person want to give up, 

The renters market is extremely unbearable these days. If your credit is not the best then it makes it just as hard. There are many things I am up against that I don't feel the average person I have spoken to understands fully. My struggle has just begun, I have a long road ahead of me. I just need a space I can call my own where I know I can focus on working on the most important things to better our situation. 

The housing market has only gotten worse and programs are experiencing tremendous wait lists. We have watched every single one of our formerly renting neighbors be pushed out so their homes could be listed for ever rising prices. Everyone else has been replaced.

I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I cannot operate with this stress that is making me wish everything in life would just stop. I’m not asking you to help me fix my utility bills credit debt and I’m definitely not optimistic enough that some angel investor will come and buy our home for us. I just want the space to breathe so that I can face this inevitability with a bit more grace. I would just like to breathe a bit deeper enough to not fall further behind on my obligations as a mother, friend or sister. 

Every little bit helps! You can help us in ways that would be extremely life changing. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!! 

BY just sharing this post with anyone helps a lot. Please don’t feel obligated.